Fart Water

Last night was my first Compassionate Friends meeting.  I really didnt know what to expect other than alot of crying, sad, depressed women.  I was delightfully suprised when i arrived and there was a room full of people smiling and laughing.  They were mostly women, but there were about 4 fathers there as well.  I immediately thought that I should've brought Greg, but i know he would never come unless i begged and pleaded.

The meeting was nice.  Everyone took turns sharing their childs name, age and cause of death.  Parker & I are the youngest in the group.  That was hard, sharing that my baby died at just 2 days old; a gasp went around the room.  I felt as if i didn't belong there.  Like i only had 2 days with my boy while the other parents had 18+ years with their children.  They were patient with me while i shared Our story, fighting through the tears, choking on words, and the pain.  I came home in a very quiet mood.  I shared with Greg how it went and thanked him for pushing me to go last night even though i was having second thoughts.  Im really happy i went.  And i think i will continue to go every month for quite a while.

Even though i came home in a quiet mood I really wanted to go give Benjamin a hug and check on him.  I didn't, only because he's been having sleep issues and i would rather not have him in our bed all night if i woke him up.  He did however come in with us around 430am and i snuggled right up next to him and didn't want to let go.

Earlier this week i got notification that our Molly Bear will be shipped to us soon.  Im so freaking excited! I'll write more about that later though :)

I really contemplated calling out of work "sick" today.  I really felt like i needed to spend the day with Benjamin.  We spend so much time arguing and fighting (yes, even though he's only 21 months) that i just wanted to cuddle with him on the couch all day and watch Sprout and Cars2.  But, i didn't.  I went to work and had a pleasantly unproductive day!

That boy always finds ways to make us laugh.  Usually he's showing off his gas passing skills.  After dinner we took him up for a bath.  This kid is smart.  He turns on the water by himself, pours in his bubble bath, and dumps in his toys.  Then he takes his clothes off, followed by his diaper, and waits for us to help him in the tub.  I think he figured out that we laugh more at his farts when he farts in the bath tub.  Greg and I were both in the bathroom and he starts making faces like he's pushing.  He's never pooped in the tub, yet.  The loudest longest fart this kid has ever made made the bath water bubble and the bathroom floor vibrate.  He then picked up his tug boat and held it above his mouth while the water drained out of it. Greg made sure to mention that he was drinking fart water and soaking in it.....  THE JOYS OF HAVING A BOY!!!!