10,000HP

I hate that time just speeds passed like a 10,000HP top fuel dragster, shaking the earth with all its power. 

3 years makes me cringe.  

25 seems like a long time ago.  

25 is way to young to be burying your child.

 But i did. 

Somehow, I am still standing.

 I am still pissed off at the world. 

 I am still bitter.  

I am still sad.

I still hate myself for not knowing that something was wrong with my baby, who depended solely on me for life.

I hate myself for failing him.

I still miss his smell. 

 I still miss his skin against mine.  

I still hate all the milestones we never experienced.

I still hate that i only have a handful of pictures, and that's all i will ever have.

I think alot about my friends niece, Jordan.

I dont pray much anymore, but when i do, its for Jordan.

For her parents.

I pray they never learn the lifetime of heartache and hurt that I have.

I pray that Jordan continues to fight.